Entry # 1 - two weeks into it...

Well, I made the decision to change my life. Prior to coming to the Structure House, I was happy being overweight and unhealthy. I would make jokes about my weight to friends all the time. Even though I knew how unhealthy I was, I didn't realize JUST how horrible it had gotten. How far I had let it go.

When I got here, I weighed 228.2. The number showed on the screen of the scale, and I nearly fell over. It was the first time, in years that I actually read the numbers, and accepted them as my weight. I had to come to terms with what I had done. Take "step 1."

I have been attending classes, working out, and taking therapy classes to learn how to overcome what I have done. Structure House has provided me all the tools to learn how to move towards a life instead of what I really was heading for...death. I've learned now that I eat when I'm bored, but more importantly, when I'm depressed. Years of weight gain had caused me to fall into a deep depression that I didn't let anyone see. Not even my closest of friends knew what I was internally going through. And I preffered it that way. If I let them in, then I would have to deal with it. But since I have been here, and I have actually been honest with myself, I can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know that there is no magic pill or diet, it's just plain old exercise and healthy eating. But probably more importantly than a low calorie diet, balanced meals are the key.

Without balanced meals, you don't have the energy you need to do the exercise thats needed. It's a big cycle and when you break one chain, it all falls apart.

Today marks my 2 week anniversary since I started here. This morning, at weigh in, I was 222.2. I'm down 6 lbs. Which is a great start. Honestly a little less that I expected before I got here, I was planning on at least 10 in the first week, but once I started learning all that I have about weight loss, I'm happy with the 6 lbs.

What I need to keep reminding myself is that I can do this...a long life is a possibility for me... so I'm just going to keep moving in that direction...